Mother’s Got A Dot Com

Summer is upon us. Tentatively, at least. The horses are on holiday – they were sent off to green pastures the other day. Two of them have gone off to be summer camp horses, we’ll see how that goes. The Brats will soon all be on holiday too, which, for me, means more of same old, only with 6 brats 24/7, and without the break of having 5 of them in school during the day…

With summer comes a recurring phaenomenon here at Brat Camp home base. The old name of our area is Iron Valley. This has a reason. It used to be a place where iron was extracted. We draw our water from far down in the rock, and there’s always a hint of iron in it, but in the summer it becomes very apparent. Our faucets clog up, and we have to dismantle them every now and then to remove iron fragments from the filters. I’m guessing that we’ll have to replace them one by one, as the clogging up takes its toll. I’ve thought of putting in something upmarket, like Kohler faucets, but to be honest, I don’t think it would matter. I’d end up having to replace them too, and be beating myself up for not having put in something cheaper.

The lambs are growing – shoot, I promised pictures. They’ll be let out soon – they’re big enough now to not go through the fence. Pictures, I said. Well, I haven’t been able to upload any for some time, as Firefox crashes every time I try. Does anyone know why that is?

I’m working in IE right now, and I’d rather not, but at least I can upload pictures, as this Miracle Boy self-portrait shows.

I’ve finally found time to take a trip to the cabin this weekend – turning the heating off is, if nothing else, an economical thing to do. Even up there, the danger of frozen pipes has somewhat subsided by now. Alone? No. 3 Brats will be in tow. And my cousin is coming, possibly bringing another 2. Oh, joy!

Since I’ve shared my little domestic woes with you all, I thought I’d bring you up to date with the geysir situation. (For the uninitiated: I’ve had trouble with my water heater gushing hot water on and off for quite some time. Nothing has helped. I’ve had a pressure valve replaced, I’ve given the whole pressure tank system a going over, I’ve had a hose attached to the **** thing to minimize the damage, I’ve listened to more ABBA tunes on plumbers’ phone services than most of you have had hot dinners. To no avail. No one has been able to tell me what was wrong).

Plumber alert is off. Theory # 1 is back in circulation. What, say you, is Theory # 1? Well, it has to do with #6Brat, strangely enough. As the hose on the pressure valve got totally out of control the other day, and I had to turn the heater off completely, I also turned the water intake to the thing off. And what happened when I was half way? No more gushing. I turned the electricity back on, had my shower, and came back to check the situation – nothing. It seems like Theory # 1, involving #6Brat and his busy little fingers, must have been right all along. The water valve is just at 2-year-old-level (must have been designed by a man), and fairly easy to twist.

As of now, I’m holding my thumbs, and I’ve taped the knob stuck in it’s current position. Just like the freezer thermostat, the knobs on the DVD and VHS players, TV and stereo system. And the stove. This place looks like an ad for packageing tape. The only problem is that I don’t have a remote control for the stove, so I have to unwrap it every time.

Oh, well. I hope he’ll gain some sense as he grows older.

I don’t seem to have much to say to the world these days. I think I may be in the grips of some sort of depression – and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. Which, of course, is probably part of the problem. A session with a shrink, in my case, would be a rather quiet hour. Might be nice, actually – a whole hour to think things through, without interruptions.
Businesswise, things are not too bad. I have my share of home parties, and I earn a nice little bundle every time. I think this is something I’m going to be doing for some time, so I’ve ordered some business cards. The custom rubber stamps I’ve been using so far are fine for filling out order forms, but it’s nice to be able to annoy people by giving them useless pieces of paper…

I also do translation and proofreading work to the tune of 6-700$ per month, which is not too bad, and it pays the electricity bill. Hubby is working far too much, and getting far too little reward for what he’s doing, so every little bit helps.

Summer holiday? Don’t think so. Hubby will be lucky if he manages to get every other weekend off. Right now, life sucks quite a bit. The Brats are rays of sunshine though. Just thought I’d mention it.

It’s been a busy month so far. Getting #1Brat home from school, hubby starting his summer work-marathon (6 or seven day weeks, 10 hours a day), May 17. (National Day), planning a surprise-party for my uncle’s 60th birthday on the 21st, a confirmation to go to tomorrow, and trying (to no avail, as it turned out today) to figure out why the **** the water-heater can’t stop gushing water all over the place. It probably won’t stop until it’s electrocuted someone, and as I’m usually the one standing bare-foot in water, scratching my head and touching all sorts of knobs, I’m the likely candidate.

Oh, yes, and we invited 8 people over for a barbecue this evening. I hope they won’t need a shower, because I’m planning to turn the **** thing off as soon as I’ve had mine. We thought we had it sussed, you see. But that only worked until the next time plumbers took a day off (today). I wonder what plumbers do the rest of the week? Nothing ever breaks or leaks on Monday – Friday. Not in the houses of anyone I know, anyway.

And now it’s clouding over. As if we haven’t got enough water indoors… Never mind, we’ve barbecued in pouring rain before. It’s just a question of taking a stand, and sticking to it. Your back gets drenched, as the parasol has to cover the actual barbecue, but whatever – it’s summer in Norway. Gotta love it.

The following is a surrepticious link – mesothelioma. Not something I like to blog about – or even think about. Yes, we’re all going one way or another, but I think I’d rather be electrocuted by a water heater. If at all possible though – not this week, Ô Grim Reaper.

Done with the research. Boy, was that enlightening. And very, very scary.

My first thought when I saw the words Colonix reviews, was: A new Asterix comic book!

Great! I’ve got them all. Ever since my childhood in France, I’ve chuckled at the names of the characters. In French, they all end in -ix. Assurancetourix (All risk insurance), Aplusbégalix (a+b=x), Panoramix (Panoramic), and so on and so forth.

Colonix, however, was a new one… A Gall with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, perhaps?

What’s more, I was way off the mark. Try googling it, and see all the scary stuff that turns up. With pictures. One guy recorded his experiences during weeks of using the stuff. With pictures. And we’re talking colonic cleansing here, people.

Is the poking and probing compulsory? Or is just flushing the normal way acceptable behaviour? I don’t think I dare find out. By the way – the review isn’t very good.

It seems that my partner in blogging, who provides me with a regular flow of keywords to blog about, has got a spasmodic problem.

This is not a) a medical blog or b) a diet blog. I only very casually touch on health issues – and I mostly do it to complain. You know – about aching joints, saggy skin, other saggy things – whatever my ever-increasing age throws at me.

Dieting is of very little interest to me. I can stretch to nutrition, but I don’t want to get too healthy, as the homes for the elderly are such undignified places in this country, that I really want to kick the bucket before anyone feels the need to put me in one.

The spasmodic problem of my blogging partner? The ever recurring best diet pill. I could probably just pop the keywords in anywhere, and go about my ramblings as usual, but I have this thing about delivering the goods. So now I’ve done it. Please excuse me now, while I go and do some research on the next weird word constellation.

We had 10 sheep that were going to be mothers. 9 of them are now mothers – the last one died inexplicably yesterday, after having given birth to a pretty little lamb. There is an explanation, actually – there was very likely a second lamb stuck in there. The breed of sheep that we have (Norwegian wild sheep) very rarely have two lambs, but this one did, or so it would seem. Several of her colleagues did so too this year, but they usually pop them out like champagne corks, so when she’d had her one, we thought she was done.

We hadn’t really planned on hand-rearing a lamb this year, and maybe we won’t have to. One of the other lambs was “forgotten” by its mother, and was denied acces to all the udders around. She rose to the challenge, and took it upon herself to survive, against all odds. So, she trots around, and steals milk from all the sheep – a little here, and a little there. She looks as if she’s going to make it, and is almost as well fed as the others.

We’re hoping for another tenacious one. If not, we’ll just have to get her one of those pet beds in the bathroom, name her Mary’s, and feed her from a bottle.

Yes. Will take pictures. They’re adorable little potential barbecues.

Now, that’s an eye-catching heading, if ever there was one.

Well, my water heater lives it’s own little life. Near the bottom, there is a pressure valve. The reason I know this, is that some time ago, this valve started leaking. No, not your nice, little dripping sort of leak. It gushed water. That’s when I learned that this was a pressure valve. I also learned how to stop it, by making several panicked telephone calls to manufacturers and plumbers. After having been put on hold for about two years, while the experts were pondering, and water was still gushing.

I also learned that there is another valve, that you can use to turn the water supply to the heater off, thus making it empty itself, rather than being an ever-gushing source of water. They told me this after the pondering, and the being put on hold. Finally, they worked out that I needed a plumber and a new valve.

That was sorted. Now, 3 months later – same problem. From time to time, the valve is gushing. I now know what to do as an immediate measure, but it’s a bit like peeing in your pants. It gets cold after a while. And I have to start all over again. The valve was probably not the problem in the first place, but even the manufacturers couldn’t come up with a better idea.

Now – I don’t really know why I’m telling you this. Actually, I do know. I was given the phrase Hansgrohe faucet, and this is what came to mind – directly from my domestic fount (pardon the pun) of everyday woes. It’s probably a very bad idea to install a faucet on a pressure valve, unless you’re into in-house explosions.

Does every household appliance known to man have a little chip installed, that makes it pack it in two days after the warranty period runs out, or am I just being paranoid???

I’m lucky. My hubby is not into sports.

He’s not glued to the TV screen 24/7 on weekends, he couldn’t care less if there’s a football match on, or skiing, or whatever. Sport is flicked over in our household.

Now, in my sister’s life, things are different. She has a football fanatic hubby, and three boys. Guess what they’ve inherited? A lifetime membership in the Manchester United (or perhaps Liverpool FC) fan club, that’s what. She’s a patient soul, and grateful for small mercies, like the fact that her hubby sometimes takes all three boys to football matches. In England.

As for me, I don’t get it. I quite like swimming, but not to the point of watching other people doing it. I’ve also been known to enjoy a game of badminton. Actually playing it. Badminton or tennis on TV is like watching paint dry. Skiing, or running? Come on. I know one of them is going to come in a fraction of a second before the others, and I don’t care which one it is. (Don’t try to explain. I still won’t get it).

I’m just eternally grateful that whenever we do manage to travel a bit, there’s no mention of sports events. I know that if we ever manage to make it to USA, New York Yankees tickets will not be on the agenda. We might catch a rodeo though (no, probably not in NYC), to experience a bit of local culture…

#2 Brat is probably moving to Denmark in August – she’s applied to several design colleges there, and has got scores of butterflies in her stomach these days. She’s submitted her application assignments, and is waiting for word on round 2 of the application process.

#1 Brat wants to travel around the world, and is coming back home to work and save money for the adventure. #3 Brat is probably going on to add some academic exams to his CV – he should have gone into apprenticeship as a carpenter, but the building trade is still trembling, and securing a place is difficult. So, he’s doing the sensible thing. #4 Brat is going on to high school.

It looks like we’ll still be 7 people around the dinner table next year, and there’s no chance of a home theater seating arrangement for 2 any time soon. Just as well. Worrying about one at a time is quite enough at the moment. When #1 Brat goes on her world tour, I’ll be worried enough for a lifetime.

Note to self: This summer may be the last chance to take a familiy photo for a loooong time. Grab it!