Mother’s Got A Dot Com

# 1 Brat’s school has an open day/weekend this weekend, and Hubby and I are going over there to see how she’s faring.
I know she’s enjoying herself no end, and it’ll be fun to experience what they’re up to. They’ve got a whole seminar lined up for us on Saturday, and an evening of entertainment to follow.
Must remember to buy a new micro sd card for my camera, so I can start recording events again, and get some fresh photos for this blog of mine, as well as for posterity.
On Monday, her music class and the theatrics class are off to a mini-tour of Europe - they’re going to Prague, Berlin and a couple of other places to soak up some culture. So - I guess we’re expected to come bearing gifts, in the form of pocket-money for her trip… (Wrong choice of words - we’re not expected to, but I’m sure it would be much appreciated). Must remember to go to the bank for some Euros.
Over Christmas, they’re off again, this time to London, to get their fill of musicals and concerts, I think.
I don’t know what she’ll do with her life - she doesn’t either, but she’s treating herself to a year of doing what she loves - music - while she thinks about what to do next. That could be music, or something totally different. Time will tell.

We’re looking forward to seeing her in her new environment this Saturday. One thing is to know she’s all right, quite another is to see it with your own doting eyes…

I know - it’s silly. I have 6 Brats, 4 of them stem from my own battered innards, and I’ve done my bit for humanity.
Still - I haven’t started menopause in full yet, my hormones are as active as ever (although slightly unpredictable), and I’ve always adored being pregnant and caring for infants. People procreate - I see those cute little counters all over the web - and I would love to do it again.
Maybe it’s because I was cheated out of half a pregnancy with Miracle Boy (I got a lot of infancy though…), the truth is I sometimes mourn my fertility.

I guess I’ll have to project it all onto my unborn grandchildren when the time comes (no, I’m not replacing the girls’ birth control pills with placebo - yet), and then I’ll be able to buy cute outfits and lovely crib bedding. I’ll also get to take down all the baby stuff I’ve saved in the attic, to the sound of the standing ovations not so suppressed irritation of the mother/father to be.

On the plus side - I’ll be able to required to babysit. Even more on the plus side: I’ll be able to give the Grandbrats back to their parents, send them off, close the door, and enjoy my book/cognac/trip to the Seychelles in peace.

I guess every age has its charm…

… to not have fallen for any of the nice, helpful emails I get every day.
If I had, I would have ended up with the largest penis in the history of womankind, which would have been utterly impractical. Hubby might have been a tad put off as well.

The picture? Well, one doesn’t want to be rude. Also, I learned some Body Statistics from Sandee yesterday, and if you read her post, you’ll know why one thumb normally wouldn’t be enough to illustrate my point. This one might… just…

A friend of mine called - he’s got to give away his dachshund puppy - his girlfriend is complaining that the dog keeps looking at her every time she takes her clothes off.
Women, eh???
Take a look at the darling doggy - and let me know if you’re interested. First come, first served!

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One of the few traditions that we’ve not adopted from the USA over here (and I’m saying this with all due reverence to both McDonalds and Halloween), is the prom. The flowerwhatsit/limo/irratic dad thing just hasn’t caught on.

We do, however, have a long standing tradition of Christmas and New Year balls, that is immensely popular with kids of all ages. Schools have them, men’s clubs have them (They get to bring their wives. No fun without them),  youth clubs and community clubs have them too.

Now - never mind the men. There’ll always be a tux or a suit avaiable. The big issue is: The Dress. In the olden days, formal dresses or ball gowns were compulsory - these days us womenfolk can be more adventurous.

I don’t buy a dress every year. One reason is that I could neither afford nor justify it - another is that I just hate trying on clothes. (A third is the fact that shops only seem to have them in pygmy size…) Our family counts 4 girls in need of a new outfit for the Christmas season - and the Rissy Roo’s site might be just the place.

The Brats (#s 1,2 and 4) would just adore the Cocktail dresses ( I know they’d swoon over Jasz Couture as well).
For myself, I’d choose from the Plus Size section, where the choice is actually very good. They even have mostly plus size women modeling them, so you do get a pretty good idea of how they look on a non-pygmy frame.

They do bridal and bridesmaids too - and their “Mother-of-theBride” section almost prompted me to go on a diet. There’s probably time - no Brat weddings in sight for a few years yet. (Excuse me while I uncross my fingers…)

There! In need of a gorgeous gown at a reasonable price, or just up for a drool? Have a look!

My Blogoversary was on October 2nd, and I missed it. (I know, the Sitemeter thingy at the bottom here says October 8th, but that’s when counting started. My first post was on the 2nd).
The other day, I wrote my post # 500, and I nearly missed out on that too.
What I’m not going to miss out on, is visitor number 50 000 - if I’m in luck, that will happen some time today or tomorrow.

I’ve decided all this calls for a celebration, and in true, boring, blogging tradition, I’m having a contest… Well - not so much a contest, more of a raffle.
So - what do I have to do, you ask, eagerly.
There are three rules, and three rules only:

1. To enter, you absolutely must comment on this post. That will ensure you one ticket.

2. If you’re really eager, and in a linky-lovey, friendly sort of mood, you can also link to me from your blog, but please, please tell me about it in comments. (You’ve got to comment regardless, remember?). If you do, you’ll have two tickets. (One for the comment, one for the link - let’s not go overboard here…) You don’t have to write a post - a nice fresh link is all I ask.

3. There will be no tickets issued for subscribing.
Why? I’m overjoyed with every new subscriber, so feel free to do so if you can’t live without my rants. You’ll find the button way up on one of the sidebars here. It’s orange.
What I don’t want is a flood of subscribers (I wish) who unsubscribe after a week. That would be no good for my self esteem…
(Also - I have no idea how to find out who my subscribers are. I assume there is a way, but I’m just happy I figured out how to put the button up, OK?)

OK - four rules: 4. No spam.

And now - to the prize. Silence. Drum Roll. Surprise!

I don’t know. The last time I had a surprise raffle, the prize turned out to be a Norwegian silver spoon, that went to a lucky British Globetrotter. It could be the same again.

It could also be something completely different, but it will be Norwegian. NOT a plastic troll, and NOT a kilo of Lutefisk, although that would be rather fun.
(I guess I could conjure up a plastic troll for the winner, but chances are it would be made in Taiwan, and that just wouldn’t do. Nothing wrong with Taiwan, but it’s hardly local, is it???) Something local, something non-food/non-plastic, and something nice. OK? I promise I’ll get back to you on this.

The draw? I could use that random thingy, but I’m more of a hat person. It will happen on or around December 1st, when the Autumn Birthday Marathon is over around here. (2 down, 4 to go…)

Now, be adventurous and comment away…

Contestants/Ticket winners so far:
Margaret
Sandee
Empress Bee
maryt/theteach
1stopmom
Jaz
Joie
Alison
Chronic Chick
Jessica K
Hana

Bonus!!! To anyone who sees this post - no need to enter the raffle to claim it: A free, no-strings-attached, potentially link-love saturated membership in the Blog Directory…

I’m getting older. Given that the alternative to getting older isn’t a pleasant prospect, I shouldn’t really complain.
Arthritis is no fun, though, and with winter coming, I know it can only get worse. Fingers, shoulders, knees - not to mention the root of everything - the old club feet and their attached ankles, they stiffen up more and more with each rainy day that brings us closer to the frost.
I’ve tried a lot of things - various meds, various homeopathic remedies, a magnetic bracelet and insoles, campheratum liniment, glucosamine, you name it, I’ve done it. Nothing seems to help in the long run, and every year it gets a little bit worse.
I guess I just have to keep soldiering on, as they say, enjoying the good days, trying to get through the bad. And regardless of financial crisis and global warming, there will be another spring.

It’s raining, I’ve just made a doctor’s appointment for Monday, which I’m dreading, because I’m afraid he’ll send me off to the MRI machine again. We’re not good buddies, that one and I. The kids have all come home, which is nice, and they’re now in the process of raiding the fridge.

We’re having a birthday party on Sunday, as #2 Brat turns 18 on Tuesday, and Hubby turns 44 the same day. I have no idea what to get either of them. We’ll be around 20 people Sunday, and I don’t know what to serve, either. I’m sure something will turn up - both food- and prezziewise.

I’m supposed to slot Proactiv in here somewhere, but I’m not in the mood to discuss acne treatments today - did I mention it’s raining?

Friday is a good TV night, though, and we’re having a smoked leg of lamb for dinner (I can smell it now!), and I think I’ll do a potato gratin with it. That should help dissipate the foul autumnal mood I’m in. That is, if Hubby comes home before everyone is murderous with hunger. Oh, no, that’s right, they’ve raided the fridge. Good.

(Give me half an hour, and I’ll be right as… as rain!) Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Hubby could do it, I’m sure. Unless it was his own sand, of course, in which case he’d give it away. (We once sold a horse. The price was set and agreed upon, the contract was signed, and Hubby suddenly took $500 off the price because… well, because. The buyer hadn’t haggled at all… Nice fella, my Hubby!) Selling sand for other people - no problem. It would fly like cupcakes.

Me - that’s a different matter. I couldn’t sell water in said desert. I’ve tried. Not literally (now there’s a picture, little old fair(red)-skinned me, sitting behind a mirage of a water stand in the middle of the Sahara desert, with 6 brats in tow), but I have tried.
MLM is one example of me trying. Speaking of mirages… Selling household and beauty products to my friends and acquaintances? Dream on. CLA could be the latest, greatest miracle drug for anything from athlete’s foot to cobwebs in the attic, and I couldn’t peddle a single box of the stuff. I’d buy it, though, and use it, and talk about it to said friends, but sell it? No way.

I’ve done Aloe Vera. I mean - Aloe Vera is the greatest miracle drug for anything under the sun. I’ve still got 2 jugs of juice somewhere, and I use all the creams, ointments and stuff I bought for myself. I’m just sooo bad at getting the point across.

Homeparties. Dare I say it? Yes, Tupperware. Done that. For about 10 minutes. Going into people’s homes, professing the divine qualities of overpriced plastic to a bunch of giggling housewives who’re just dying for you to get out so they can tuck into the refreshments while they slag you… Not for me. I felt like an intruder and a village idiot - all in one. I’ve got a lot of overpriced plastic though, and believe me - it does last a lifetime.

Next step - affiliate marketing. Great - just put a banner up on your lame little website, sit back, and watch the money flood in. Yup.
OK. I’m sitting here, all laid back like - where’s my money???

Right. So it’s me. I’m not cut out for it. I couldn’t have people working for me either - I feel desperately sorry for all those royals and celebs who have people in attendance all the time. The lack of privacy would kill me within a fortnight. Seriously!

So - life in the fast lane isn’t for me. Until the big prize comes in, I’ll just have to do what I do, and enjoy life as it comes.
Say again?
Enjoy life?
Wonderful idea.

We have our own rendition of the Clark Howard Show over here. I suspect that it’s wildly less entertaining though. Consumerism is serious business in this part of the world.
Anyway. They’ll do tests of anything from styrofoam cups to ATVs, but I’ve never seen a consumer test on eyeglasses. I don’t know why - glasses are terrifyingly expensive over here, and people should be told where they can get the best value for their money.

Quiz for my avid, discerning readers with an elephant memory:

1. Have I done anything about my waning eyesight yet?
2. Do I remember that I should every time I see an ad for or a mention of eyeglasses?

I’ll leave that open, shall I, since question 2 rather answers question 1…

One thing is certain: if and when I get round to it (I have hopes that an icy, pitch dark winter will knock some sense into me), I’ll have a look at what Zenni Optical have to offer. Tinted, photochromic, progressive or regular glasses, set in stylish frames suitable for all tastes. From $8. Even if I find a pair at 3 times that, I’ll gave money over for a medium sized condo compared to what it costs over here. (Well, not quite. Only a small one). Seriously: even with the overseas shipping, I’d have money left over.

I prefer the simple ones, but have a look for yourself!