We’ve had quite a controversy in this country lately, regarding gay marriage/sperm donation to lesbian couples/kids growing up in gay families.
The reason was that some christian philosopher took it upon herself to publish a book where she, among many other things, put forward her belief that kids growing up in gay families had a severe handicap, and that everyone should have the right to a father. For this, she received a prize – the “Free Word Prize”, that’s given to people who dare put forward controversial thoughts.
Commendable, I’m sure. It’s just that most members of the gay community here took this prize as an endorsement of the woman’s opinions. And who can blame them.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion. There are, however, no restrictions on empathy or good behaviour. When you’re on a state payroll (which she is), can put “philosopher” in front of your name, and your words carry some weight in certain circles, you should know better than to stigmatise a whole group of children. (The adults can take it. They’ve been taking it for generations. But their children have deserved better).
I’ve never understood, though, that gay sexuality is something that everyone needs to have an opinion about. What I do behind closed doors is nobody’s business, as long as it doesn’t involve kids or animals. My straight sex life is supposedly harmless to my kids. If I were gay, and had a loving partner, it would be different, for some reason that I can’t fathom. In that case, everyone would have the right to peer between my sheets, or at least have an opinion on what they think happens there, and how it (negatively) impacts my children.
I’ve been hit on by lesbians on numerous occasions, and have had to decline. Every time, I’ve felt sad for them. Being straight, looking for a partner is difficult enough, but dead easy, really. We can safely assume that close to 50% of the population is a candidate, if gender is the only criteria. Gay people face obstacles that I would have found terribly hard to overcome. And, contrary to popular belief, gender/inclination is not the only criteria.
When I first heard about gay vacations, I thought: whatever for? Why do they have to stigmatise themselves? Why can’t we all live and let live? I don’t have the answer, but I’m guessing that a lot of gay people have to live with the condemnation of their neighbours on a daily basis. Whether it’s being expressed or not, there is a staggering amount of homophobia about. People in general don’t live and let live. Going on holiday with people who face the same problems that you do, and who don’t judge you, is probably what it means to get away from it all… Also, going somewhere where there are only gay people, must increase the chance of finding someone, someone who might be partner potential.
I’m quite certain that being gay means just the same as being straight, when it comes to love. I wish the judgmental bigots would try to remember that. All most straight people want, is a partner who loves them, whom they love back, and with whom they would consider spending large portions of their life – if possible the rest of it. Most gay people want exactly the same thing.
